MOOD: The Sea - Morcheeba
Today, I decided to sit and write something
more personal… one of the purposes of my blog was to come back to my joy of
writing, which during the last nine months has been a great source of therapy
and a way of leaving imprinted somehow, all my thoughts and feelings. Writing
has become a way of recording what it has meant to be expecting my son; a way
to share this time with him in the future; for him to know what it was like to
wait for him with so much love and to have loved him – even before his birth.
I must confess that I was never the type of
woman who spent my time dreaming of being a mother, and I found that this
feeling stayed with me until recently. For the longest time I had wondered why
I did not want what my friends wanted. Women of my age spoke about their wish
of being a mother and I could not understand why I felt differently. For the
longest time I thought that I was selfish for not wanting what they wanted. But
it was not because I was selfish, it was because I was at a different stage of
my life.
I have come from a place where: I wanted to experience life in a thousand different ways, squeeze every drop from it and discover myself and depths of my soul through my passion for adventure. I wanted to build a unique and strong relationship with Unai - my partner - my love – my buddy. A relationship that would be strong enough to withstand life’s blows, taking each one with strength and grace to make us the couple we are now. I wanted to live my life with an intensity and wild passion for new experiences and see that there aren’t limits to an adventurous soul like mine. I wanted to travel with my love and learn of the world with him. I wanted to live a life of joy, doing all the things that were in the bucket list of my life. I wanted to feel fulfilled and satisfied as a person, a professional, a woman, a wife, and a daughter so that I could be whole , free of regret and ready for a new adventure…when I look at my life with this perspective, I think I did the right thing.
After being together with Unai for almost
10 years, we are still as in love as when we first met. And after having
experienced so much of life together and having Camillo, our dog (“First baby”)
we discovered that we were ready for something new. After many years of seeing
the man Unai is, and what we are like together as a couple, I thought that
nothing could be more beautiful than to create a life together, another life
that would be an extension of him and I and the best of both of us.
These 9 months have been surprising for me.
Besides feeling spoilt by the generosity of strangers and getting free desserts
at restaurants :) I could never have expected to enjoy my pregnancy as
much as I have and that I would fall in love with my new curves every time I
look at myself at the mirror. It´s incredible to love someone that I don’t even
know but who is inside of me, who kicks with kicks that are exclusively for me,
and who feels exactly the same things that I am feeling. From inside me, that
close to my heart, I know he knows who I am. He knows what I think and what I feel.
Now my mission is to learn how to be
a mom and the promise to myself, my partner and my son, is to find a balance
between who I am now and who I will be when he is here. My promise is to love
him, while staying true the woman I have become without loosing myself. With my son and husband beside
me I will continue on my adventure with my personal and professional projects,
with the two of them inspiring me every day. My promise is to take care of my
son, and his father by loving them and protecting them. This will make me a
happy mother, with a happy baby and a happy family.
Luka will be Taurus and an
African boy for which we are absolutely happy.
I am ready.
***
Hoy decidí sentarme y
escribir algo un poco más personal… uno de los propósitos de este blog era volver a escribir pues desde que dejé mi país no lo había vuelto a hacer de esta manera. Creo que así
sea escribir para mi misma, lo que ha significado para mi la espera de mi hijo,
es una gran terapia y una forma de dejar impresa de alguna manera mis
pensamientos. Me encanta la idea de poder guardarlo y poder compartirlo con mi
hijo en algún momento de su vida, que el sepa cómo fue esperarlo con tanto amor
y querelo desde antes de nacer.
Debo confesar que nunca fuí
la clase de mujer que soñaba con ser mamá y que ese sentimiento siempre estuvo
conmigo hasta hace poco. Veía que mis amigas y las mujeres de mi edad hablaban
tanto de eso y del deseo de traer seres al mundo, que yo me sentía tan
diferente y no entendía porqué. Pensaba que tal vez era egoismo pero en
realidad no lo era, mi vida estaba enfocada en otras cosas que eran importantes
en ese momento y me tomé el tiempo para vivirlas…
Primero quise comerme la vida
de mil formas y hacer que mi pasión por querer hacer cosas me llevara a conocer
más allá de mi misma y ver que en un alma aventurera como la mía no habían
límtes; quería contruir una relación única y fuerte con mi pareja que fuera a
prueba de esas bolas de fuego que pasan y detruyen o fortalecen los vínculos y
que los dos fuéramos lo que somos ahora; quería vivir mil experiencias de una
forma intensa y tal vez salvaje; quise recorrer el mundo con mi esposo y
aprender de él, quise gozarme muchas cosas que estaban en mi lista de la vida y
era consciente de lo importante que era para mi la satisfacción y realización
como persona, profesional, mujer, esposa e hija para no tener frustraciones y así
poder estar lista para esta nueva aventura… cuando miro lo que viví con perspectiva, creo que hice
lo correcto.
Después de estar 10 años con
Unai (el amor de mi vida, mi pareja y mi compinche), tener un perro (Primer hijo) y haber
vivido intensamente tantas cosas juntos, descrubrímos que estábamos listos para
algo nuevo y al ver como es el, como somos los dos cuando estamos juntos, me
hizo pensar que nada puede ser más bonito que crear una vida juntos y producir
un ser humano que fuera la mezcla de los dos, una extensión de lo mejor de el y yo.
Estos casi 9 meses han sido
sorprendentes para mi, aparte de sentirme consentida hasta por extraños y
hasta recibir postres gratis en restaurantes :) nunca pensé que fuera a gozarme el embarazo y que me
enamorara de mis nuevas curvas cada vez que me miraba en el espejo. Es
incredible amar a alguién que aún no conoces pero que está dentro de ti
sintiendo lo mismo que yo estoy sintiendo en cada momento… él desde ahi sabe lo
que soy, lo que pienso, lo que siento, él es el único que ha estado asi
de cerca de mi corazón y sus pataditas son sólo y exclusivamente para mi.
Ahora mi misión es aprender a
ser mamá y mi promesa a mi misma, a mi pareja y a mi hijo, es encontrar ese
balance entre lo que soy ahora y lo que seré cuando el esté con nosotros,
amarlo muchísimo pero sin perderme a mi misma, seguir con mis proyectos
personales y profesionales pero con nuestro hijo al lado inspirándonos cada
día, cuidarlo a el y así de importante, cuidar también a su padre, protegiendolos
y amándolos, porque donde hay una mamá
feliz y equilibrada, hay un bebé y una familia feliz.
Luka será Tauro y será un niño
africano y eso nos hace inmesamente felices.
Estoy lista.

Thanks for reading
***
Gracias por leer
Fotos: MRSK www.mrsk.co.za
You look so great being pregnant and from what you write here you have very similar feeling to those I had being pregnant. I wish every woman to have a chance to feel how great it is to wait for a baby and to feel all these fantastic feelings! My daughter is a Taurus and she is one of the most fabulous people I've ever met.
ReplyDeleteLots of love to you, your baby and his father. And good luck with your big day!
fashionfascinate.blogspot.com
Many thanks for your beautiful words :) so glad that u felt identified with what I wrote.
DeleteLots of love too xxx
Diana
Wow!!! Congratulations!!!! I wish you to be a very good mother!
ReplyDeleteKisses,
Eni
http://eniwherefashion.blogspot.it/
Thanks Eni :)
DeleteLove x
Diana
Qué bonito post! Enhorabuena!!
ReplyDeletebesos
Gracias guapa.
DeleteBesos
Diana
Y ya veras cuando lo tengas en brazos, serás la mujer más feliz del mundo! Un beso enorme.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.solaanteelespejo.blogspot.com.es/
Gracias Ana, tu siempre tan especial.
DeleteMuchos abrazos,
Diana
Congratulations! Amazing post! I'm following you on instagram and the beautiful pic you posted today caught my attention and this is the first time I'm reading you. I'd like to keep reading your next posts! Un gran saludo y una vez más felicidades por esa linda etapa en tu vida!
ReplyDeletewww.simplymissk.weebly.com
Thanks Keziah for your comment and the good wishes, so nice from you :) . I am so glad that u read me and liked what I wrote, this time it was something more personal. I love your pics on Instagram a lot.
DeleteKeep well and speak soon.
Love xxx
Diana
Looking awesome Diana
ReplyDeleteThanks Gareth, nice to see you here ;)
DeleteLove,
Diana
Lovely pics! <3
ReplyDeleteMarina
http://www.maridress.blogspot.it/
https://www.facebook.com/maridressfashionblog
Thanks Marina
DeleteLove,
Diana
Congratulations, Diana! Best wishes to you as you begin this new chapter of your life. You are a lovely mother-to-be - I love the photos!
ReplyDeleteThanks Sarah :) Nice to know about you, keep well.
DeleteLove x
Diana
These photographs are absolutely stunning! Happy belated Mother's Day! :)
ReplyDeletexo TJ
http://www.hislittlelady.com
Thanks babe.
DeleteHave a lovely day.
Love x
Diana
You look beautiful!
ReplyDeletehttp://www.olastory.com/
Thanks Ola :)
DeleteHope u are fine.
Love,
Diana
ładne fotografie ♥
ReplyDeletehttp://delavie-paula.blogspot.com/
Thanks Paula :)
DeleteKeep well.
Love xxx
Diana
Aii pero que bonito este post! Me ha encantado muchísimo.
ReplyDeleteMe gusta mucho que estes tan contenta del embarazo, se te ve muy entusiasmada y con ganas de que Luka llegue.
Mil besos y a seguir tan contenta!!
Sara Sánchez Velado
http://www.sarasanchezvelado.es/blog
You and your baby bump look gorgeous!
ReplyDeleteHope you get to meet your son soon! :)
Away From Blue
aww congratulations! You're going to be a mother soon and i know you will be a great mum <3
ReplyDeleteVisit my blog: www.sarahrizaga.blogspot.com
great post, so happy for you!!
ReplyDeleteAmazing! You look so beautiful!! love...
ReplyDeleteXX
http://fetish-tokyo.blogspot.com/
Wow amazing photos! Congratulations!!
ReplyDeletexx,
www.mellowyellowblog.com
Amazing photos!! Congratulations by the way! You will be an amazing mother <3
ReplyDeleteWant to follow each other on GFC? and Can you also click on link to the shorts in our latest outfit post? <3 It means a lot to us! <3
xoxo
Fash Fab
Instagram
Facebook
Found your blog randomly and I’d like to say it’s fabulous! You have amazing photos & style! Everything is perfect!
ReplyDeletewould you like to follow each other?
will be happy to see you in my blog!
www.dianacloudlet.com
Thanks Darlene, hope u are fine.
ReplyDeleteLove x
Diana